Mom Is Putting a Bad Reputation on Me

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Over the last year I’ve learned not to trust my mom with any personal problems (like my suicidal thoughts) because she ends up telling everyone and i feel like I’m a bad person and the people she tell judges me and I’ve grew tired of it so i just stopped talking to her about that type of things. I also learned not to hold my breath when she makes a promise because it never ends up happening and it just adds on my sadness. The only person I trust with my feelings is my sister and sometimes I think she cares less but she listens anyways because I have no one else.
But since I stopped telling my mom my problems she’s been seeing the bad things i do and tell everyone and its like my mistakes are defining me and I don’t like it. I’ve been trying to talk to her about it but she just takes it like a joke. She doesn’t know what I go through everyday, that I think about suicide most of the time, the reason why I hide away in my room, nothing and I’m scared she will take it too far and I will end up doing something ill regret.
I just want to know why she’s doing this to me and how I can approach her and learn to trust her again. I just hate feeling like I’m a bad person.

A: I am very sorry you’re having this struggle. But it does sound like your mom may not be the right person to help. That is unfortunate, but you’ve already learned that she does the wrong thing when you’re vulnerable with her. The sadness and suicidal thoughts are important indications that you want to address now — and with someone who can help directly.

I would highly recommend talking to your school’s guidance counselor. At 14-years-old, school systems can help in those places where families can’t. The important thing is not to feel alone with this. I think your resilience and coping with your emotions and your family needs some outside support. The school’s guidance counselor is a great place to start.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 15 May 2014

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2014). Mom Is Putting a Bad Reputation on Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/05/15/mom-is-putting-a-bad-reputation-on-me/

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