She Needed to Have the Last Word

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

An old childhood acquaintance came to my dad’s funeral. She gave me a hug and then said, “I’d say let’s get together, but I’m moving! Oh well!” I just stood there and looked at her, while she walked away with a smirk on her face.

I’m guessing that she said this to get back at me because I didn’t hang out with her when she called me out of the blue a few years ago. I also didn’t accept her “friend” request on social media and she harassed all of my friends as to why I didn’t. I didn’t because she would only hang out with me if no one else was available and then ditch me for other people. One-on-one she was fine, but she would always make fun of me in a group.

She never seemed to like me, so why should it matter that I didn’t hang out with her? I told my family and other friends about it, but no one said anything, so maybe I deserve this treatment? (Maybe she felt I rejected her, so this is her way of rejecting me?) But why would she say this at a funeral of all places?

A: What this person did was outrageous! You absolutely don’t need her as a friend. It sounds to me like she’s someone who just has to have the last word. She is so self-centered, that she thought her agenda was more important than the fact that you were at your father’s funeral. This woman isn’t interested in being a real friend. She only wants to be superior. By rejecting her offers to get together and to be her social media “friend,” you’ve let her know that you don’t value having a relationship with her. She can’t stand it. I say, “Good for you!” You’ve made it clear that you won’t accept abuse as the price you need to pay for her company.

I wish you well,
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 12 May 2014

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2014). She Needed to Have the Last Word. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 15, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/05/12/she-needed-to-have-the-last-word/