I Want To Kill Someone and Have Sex with Them
I am 16. Boy. I have various thoughts about committing sexual acts with young kids, 10-13. I have done things with a lot of kids, most when i was little, but still some at this age.
My brother is one of these kids. Yes, I have done things with my brother, and I understand this is wrong. But, I cannot control myself. I have also done things with my brothers friend, who is 11. I am very scared of my future because I am scared to reveal what I have done to so many people.
I also have thoughts about having sex with corpses, dead people. It turns me on, and I can’t help it. I just feel these things. I just do. I am not attracted to kids my age or older, just kids in that age range. Sometimes I have the urge to hurt people at my school. Many drawings of hurting people.
Is there something wrong with me? I don’t really feel bad for the kids I have done things with, I don’t know why I just feel like its not my problem. I have never been sexually abused or molested or whatever. Please help? What am I supposed to do?
A. Many people that have been sexually molested as children, do not remember the molestation. It is quite possible that you were sexually molested as a child and are unable to remember it.
Of course it is wrong to sexually abuse or otherwise harm another human being. You mentioned that you cannot control yourself. I believe you, but you need to realize that your behavior has to stop. You cannot continue to abuse other people. With therapy you can learn to control your behavior. It is essential that you get help immediately. Things can get much worse for you. Damage has already been done. You need to get help before you end up doing something that could cause you to spend most of your life in prison.
You are only 16, a minor. With the correct psychological help you can overcome this problem and go on to have a normal adult life. Don’t be afraid to tell the truth to your therapist. He or she is trained and dedicated to helping people with problems just like yours. They are there to help you. Your problems are no worse than the ones they treat and cure every day.
Even if you developed the ability to control your behavior and would stop molesting others, you would still need therapy to help you overcome your desires and to have a normal sex life in the future.
I would recommend that you find a therapist immediately that deals with sexual problems. The safest and easiest thing that you can do is to immediately get help. I hope you’ll take my advice, and I wish you good luck in curing your problem.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Randle, K. (2014). I Want To Kill Someone and Have Sex with Them. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 7, 2016, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/05/10/i-want-to-kill-someone-and-have-sex-with-them/