How Do I Move On?

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

From the U.S.: 7 years ago I fell head over heels for my kids father. before the kids and I came along he was with his girlfriend for 18+years that he cheated on with me. We had two little girls. After being told that I was the one and I was gonna be the one he will married, he couldn’t picture me being with someone else other then him. Like any women I fell for it. I put my life on hold for him (7 years) I even stood behind him when I was carrying our second child that he didn’t care if I lived or died.

New Years roll around(2014) he meets a new lady and left the girl friend that he was with for 18 years. He told me I shouldn’t be mad about the new girlfriend we never had anything from the jump. I’m still hurting till this day. I never talked bad about this man at all. I don’t know what to do. It’s depressing and I wanna get over it already. How do you move on from that with kids involved that he doesn’t see anymore like he used to. In my eyes he is playing daddy to the new girl’s four year old child. I’m so lost and confused. I just want the pain to go away, help me please

A: What a hard life lesson! It’s generally true that a man that will cheat with you will eventually do it to you. This man isn’t worth your time or your love. Never has been. Never will be. I’m sure there must be some positive qualities or you would not have stuck by him for so long. But now that he has shown the truth of his character, I hope you will do everything you can to put lots of distance between you.

The good news is that you are only 31. You have lots of life ahead of you. Learn from this hard experience and look for a man who will love you and only you and who will be the father that your kids need. Don’t waste another second of your love or your time on the old BF. Make yourself available to a healthy guy.

If you find it hard to let go, please do consider seeing a therapist. Your self-esteem has taken a major blow. You may need some help and support to build yourself back up again. You deserve it. Your children deserve to have a mother who feels good about herself and who can show them what love and a healthy relationship look like.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
——————————————————-

Photo

 

 

Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 29 Apr 2014

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2014). How Do I Move On?. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/04/29/how-do-i-move-on/