I’m Obsessed with My Boyfriend’s Ex

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now, but a few months ago he called me by his ex’s name. Ever since that I have been obsessing over her, i’m constantly on her Facebook page, checking out her pictures and making comparisons between us. She was born in a very wealthy family, has had the opportunity to travel and has even been in beauty pageants and that just gives me even lower self esteem. I know it’s not healthy and he says he loves me so I should believe him but I just can’t get over the fact that she was in his life and that he might still have some type of feelings for her. He was he first love, maybe she might still love him as well.

A: Compare and despair. Stop looking at her Facebook page. If he wanted to be with her he would be gone. He’s with you and may have made a mistake by calling you her name, but you ruminating about this isn’t helpful.

There’s a way of breaking that thought up when it gets started, and it’s very well discussed in the book The Resilience Factor. Don’t feed the negative thoughts by looking on Facebook. Get the book and reclaim your self-esteem.

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 13 Apr 2014

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2014). I’m Obsessed with My Boyfriend’s Ex. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 30, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/04/13/im-obsessed-with-my-boyfriends-ex/

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