I Feel Lost and Have No Sense of Direction

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

From the UK: I am young (17) and lost. This past year has been relatively depressing with the loss of a family member, moving out of one parent’s to live with the other and the step family, failing to get a career/job amongst other problems. I feel I have lost all sense of hope and my life is going nowhere. I feel useless in everything I do, I just want to leave all my problems behind and leave for some place else. I have great qualifications however it seems no employer wishes to look upon them. I love nothing more than sitting alone in my room wishing the world away and ignoring anything social. It has been more than a year now since I left education and all I seemed to have done is sit on the sofa and do nothing but think and question my worth. I did a ‘Sanity Score’ and the result shocked me.

A: You aren’t lost. You are hiding. Something about getting into the next stage of life was so overwhelming to you that you withdrew from life. As you’ve already discovered, it hasn’t helped. With every day you sit on that sofa, you miss out on more opportunities and you make yourself more unemployable. Your life isn’t going to go anywhere until you put yourself in gear.

I’m sorry a good job didn’t come find you when you wanted it. You’re going to have to go find it. If a paid job isn’t immediately available, you need to volunteer or find an internship to gain some experience, to demonstrate that you are a good worker and to develop relationships with people who can give you good references in the future. If you are a creative person, you could also start a small business. Yes, you can. Identify something you can be passionate about and either offer your services free to someone who can teach you more about it or start learning more about it on your own.

Not everyone who is qualified finds a good job right away. But people who actively pursue their dreams are more likely to find them. Finding a job is a job. People who find the right one are people who treat the task as serious work. That means putting in 8-hour days honing your own skills and looking for what you want. An employment counselor of mine says that unless you are willing to make at least 2 contacts a day (networking, interviewing, talking to potential mentors, etc.) you aren’t seriously looking.

You made one contact with us here at PsychCentral. That’s a start. Now start putting in the time to get what you want out of life.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Photo

 

 

Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 2 Apr 2014

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2014). I Feel Lost and Have No Sense of Direction. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 24, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/04/02/i-feel-lost-and-have-no-sense-of-direction/