My Boyfriend Hasn’t Said He Loves Me

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

From the U.S.: So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and almost 5 months. He is 22 and so am I. He still hasn’t told me he loves me and I’m curious to as why. We moved in together after a year and 2 months. Since our one year we have not had sex, or even made out. I just need advice to why? Please Help!

A: My question is: Why did you move in with a guy who hasn’t said he loves you? And why are you staying in a relationship without affection and sex? I’m assuming you’ve talked to him and not gotten a satisfactory answer or you wouldn’t be writing here. (If you haven’t had an honest talk, it’s long past time for doing so.) It could be that moving in together has freaked him out. But 3 months is long enough to work it through and to make a clear decision to stay or go. Since he apparently can’t or won’t decide, you should. If this guy is fun to be around, keep him as a friend. But if he isn’t interested or willing to figure out how to be close to you, don’t hold onto the idea that he’ll be a lover.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 27 Mar 2014

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2014). My Boyfriend Hasn’t Said He Loves Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 20, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/03/27/my-boyfriend-hasnt-said-he-loves-me/