I Cannot Control My Anger

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I cannot control my anger. And I got angry with a very small issue. I always do work in a hurry and cannot wait for anything. I become angry if I do not get exactly what I want. I love my husband very much but do misbehave with him when got angry. I tear up my clothes, books or throw away my mobile at anger stage. After a few minutes I feel very low and down for everything. I am a researcher. I cannot tolerate a state for long period. I liked my job initially. But now I am frustrated with it. I become Please give me some suggestion how can I get rid of it.

A. Anger is obviously a problem for you. Impatience often accompanies anger issues. People who are impatient want things when they want them. They often become angry when things don’t go their way.

People who are impatient either don’t or are unwilling to accept reality. For instance, the impatient and quick-tempered person sitting in an unexpected traffic jam will be seething with anger because they have been delayed. Anger in that situation stems from their inability to accept reality coupled with the perceived expectation of things going as planned.

We must accept the fact that things will not always go our way. There will be disappointments, annoyances and unpleasant developments in life. We must come to expect them. They will happen to all of us. The proper response to these inevitabilities is to develop the proper coping skills to deal with these situations when they arise.

The anger and stress that develops in response to your impatience will lead to unhappiness, and it may even lead to the end of your marriage. You are taking out your frustrations on your husband and undoubtedly, if he were being honest, he would probably say that your behavior is decreasing the quality of his life and harming your relationship.

Your problem is a common one and one that is easily correctable, if you are open to treatment. My recommendation to you is psychotherapy. Consult a therapist who specializes in anger management. Individual therapy might be appropriate and so might couples counseling, depending on whether you want to involve your husband in your treatment. Another avenue of treatment involves attending anger management support groups and classes. Self-help books might also help, but the most expedient way to deal with this issue is with psychotherapy. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 25 Mar 2014

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2014). I Cannot Control My Anger. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/03/25/i-cannot-control-my-anger/

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