I think I need to speak to a councilor, as I am a 20 year old woman who has compulsively lied to nearly everyone I’ve ever met, throughout my entire life. I went to university and I started to cross lines with my lies, that I once told myself were harmless, they were far from harmless now. I recently got engaged to the man of my dreams and have had to confess everything I’ve ever done and I’m too weak and to deal with the heartbreak I’ve caused him! I need help, I don’t know why I do this and nothing awful has ever happened to me so I don’t have some deep dark reason for it all, I’m just broken. I have boundaries on the people I lie to and I don’t understand those either, but I know they are there. Uni life is becoming more and more complicated and I have no idea what I’m doing anymore!
A. You recognize that you have a problem with lying, and it seems as though you want to change. You also seem to be aware of the damage that your lying has caused. I see your asking for help as being a very positive sign. It shows that you have the desire to change and are open to seeking help to make the necessary corrections in your life. Whether or not someone ultimately changes is often dependent upon their recognizing that a problem exists and being willing to make the necessary corrections. You’re off to a great start.
Fundamentally, lying often has to do with self-esteem. People lie because they want to make themselves look better than they are. They are not happy with who they are.
You can’t change the past, but with therapy you can improve your future. The next step for you, at this point, is to consult a therapist. Seeking the proper help is proof that you want to make positive changes in your life. It demonstrates that you are a responsible person who sincerely wants to change.
There are many advantages of therapy. Therapy provides you with expert knowledge into the solving real-life problems. Therapists provide emotional support during difficult times. They also undergo rigorous training to ensure that they are providing evidence-based therapeutic interventions. Therapy would be the most efficient way to solve your problem. Click on the “Find Help” tab, at the top of this page, to locate a mental health professional in your community.
Finally, be sure to check with the university. They likely give their students free access to mental health care professionals. I wish you the best of luck. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 20 Mar 2014
Randle, K. (2014). I am a Compulsive Liar. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 1, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/03/20/i-am-a-compulsive-liar/