There is Another Voice in My Head

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I have another voice in my head. I can remember having it as far back as 14 years old, after a traumatic event where my friends were very mean to me. Ever since I have had this head inside my mind. It isn’t an outside voice, I know it is in my head, it is also my own voice. However they are not my thoughts.

I can have a conversation with this other voice and normally it is okay. But sometimes it isn’t so nice. The voice tells me im worthless, I’m ugly, my friends hate me, my boyfriend of four years doesn’t love me and that i am not worthy of him. It causes trouble in my relationship when I believe this other voice.

When I go clothes shopping the voice makes me believe everyone is watching and judging me, and I get very distressed by this. I just want to know why this voice, which is MY voice but not my thoughts, is there and how i can cope with it, I know my triggers are shopping and relationship strain. My boyfriend is aware of the voice, but he doesn’t understand even though I explain it all the time. It upsets me because I feel no one understands or cares.

A. I believe that you are referring to your inner, conscious voice. We all have an inner, conscious voice. It may be our intuition or a running stream of consciousness. It’s normal to hear an inner voice.

Your inner voice is filled with negativity. People with low self-esteem and feelings of low self-worth describe their inner voices as being negative. People with depression also describe experiencing a great deal of negative self-talk. They seem to interpret all of their experiences as being negative.

Now that you are aware of your negative self-talk, you can attempt to challenge the validity of your thoughts. Negative self-talk tends to be inaccurate and exaggerated.

For instance, your inner voice says that your friends “hate you” but what evidence do you have to support that belief? I suspect that there is little or no evidence to support your belief. Your boyfriend has been with you for four years yet you believe he doesn’t love you. If that’s the case, then why hasn’t he ended the relationship?

Your trust issues may sabotage the relationship and thus you should consider psychotherapy. Depression, negative self-talk, feelings of low self-worth, and relationship issues are some of the most common reasons people enter therapy. I hope that you will consider my advice. Try counseling, I think that you’ll be glad you did. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 12 Mar 2014

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2014). There is Another Voice in My Head. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 29, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/03/12/there-is-another-voice-in-my-head/