Mom Asked Me for Sex

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

When I was 15 years old (I’m 22 now), my dad left overseas leaving me with my Mom. She is very hyperactive, impulsive, narcissistic and not very bright. She is also an alcoholic. She was like this before dad left obviously. She is also very lonely too. During the first time he left, things obviously had been more difficult to cope.

As I grew older, she braged about how attractive I am and how I look like my Dad. She even says that I have a big penis(oddly, she never seen my penis, so I bet its assumption) to some of her closer friends who weren’t disturbed by it. I was and talked to her about it.

As I said, I was 15 and I asked her to stop doing this. She said she was just having fun. I shrugged and she said the most oddest thing to me: “….do you wanna have sex?” in a happy manner. I had a negative reaction going “what?” and she said she was just kidding and looked at me. I then told her to get out of my room and I was angry when I did. It never came up at all anywhere else as I assume it was another day of her being drunk. I thought that was the excuse and rolled with it. However that really isn’t one as I later learn about alcohol recently.

So I don’t know if she was making a horrible joke because that’s who she is or if she was really trying to have sex with me. I do however feel that she wouldn’t actually do it but at the same time, I have doubts. Its 50/50. Made worse is that I do think parents who are interested in incest would do jokes or hints like that. Could there be possibilities of her just kidding? Am I thinking too much by putting things unrelated into it?

A: You are way over-thinking this. This incident happened 7 years ago. You already told me your mom is/was alcoholic, lonely, and maybe had mental health issues. You told her to get away. She did. You said you feel she wouldn’t actually do it. The fact is, she can’t.

So I have to ask myself, why you are thinking about this? Is your relationship with your mother okay now? Do you feel that event is getting in the way of being as close to her as you’d like? If that’s the case, maybe having a heart-to-heart talk with her would help. And maybe not. If she is still alcoholic, narcissistic, impulsive and not too bright, she may not understand how shocked and hurt you were by her suggestion and why it still hurts you now. In that case, your best bet is to find a way to forgive her for doing something impulsive and stupid when you were a teen and move on.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 4 Mar 2014

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2014). Mom Asked Me for Sex. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 24, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/03/04/mom-asked-me-for-sex/