Sisters Hate Me Because of My Illness

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I am 26 and have Borderline Personality Disorder. I have three sisters, one is 37, the other 35, and the other 23. All three of them constantly exclude me, and the younger two of the three refuse to speak to me, due to my impulsive behaviour and the multiple attempts I have made to kill myself. I want the kind of relationship with them that they have with one another but when I am excluded and ignored, it makes me feel like they wish I didn’t exist. I was coping with my BPD fairly well until this began to happen, and I don’t know how to reintegrate myself into my family.

A: I can imagine how difficult feeling alienated from your family could be and believe there may be a way to help. I would encourage you to find a family therapist who is willing to meet with the three of you and offer to pay the for the session. Invite your sisters to come and talk about these concerns and explain that having a relationship with them is a priority for you and you have asked them to come to get professional help in how to do this. I would also ask the therapist to make the session longer than usual so the three of you will have enough time to make headway.

The goal of such a meeting is to plan what the followup strategies are following the meeting. At worst the gathering gives everyone a safe place to vent, at best it launches new possibilities.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 11 Feb 2014

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2014). Sisters Hate Me Because of My Illness. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 26, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/02/11/sisters-hate-me-because-of-my-illness/