Imagining Sisters

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Starting with my family,I have one brother studying some degree..My only worry about my family is that I don’t have a sister of my own, even though I have many cousin sisters..
One year back.,I met a woman (not related with me anywhere in this life)aged between 30-35..In my first sight to her I got a thunder lightning in my mind that I know her somewhere..But I didn’t care it.. But as time goes on I could find myself attracted to her and even caring her,beyond that, worried about going away from her… For your information, I have (currently also) my feelings for her as my own sister.I was amazed of myself acting like this..

I have seen her 6 months before..Now I am far away from her.. but I could see myself caring about her as if she’s my family,even if I don’t see her… She resides in my thoughts and prayers..and whenever I wish,I speak with her through phone and that’s the only contact between us now..

This happens to me for the first time in my life..My question is as you may have guessed, why i am feeling so much about her??

I met recently another woman (my colleague) having no relationships with me anywhere in this life,which I feel the same…

The only similarity between them is that I could see myself thinking about them as my own sister.. And caring, praying for them as if they are my own sisters..Now the same situation arouse,I need to move away from this second woman within next two months..Even though to outside world I act like departing from her is nothing for me, to be open, I am worried about that..

Is there any possibility to meet any other woman, which I feel the same??Then what could be the basic reason for this?? Is this my imagination or any way related to infactuation?? or am I related to them at any time?

Please do help me..May be your reply can help me find them (connected with me somewhere) and myself too…

A: Without knowing you, it’s difficult for me to answer this question except with a couple of possibilities. See if either of these make sense to you.

Is it possible that you are attracted to these women but can’t pursue it? Sometimes a person will think about someone as a sibling in order to shut down a sexual attraction that is either inappropriate or anxiety-provoking. If you can’t date either of these women for whatever reason, then maybe thinking about them as sisters lets you be close to them without pursuing romantic relationships.

You didn’t mention if you are married or romantically involved with a girlfriend. If you are, then it’s possible you move women into a sister role in order to be their friend without threatening your relationship with your partner.

I’m sorry that’s the best I can do with the limited information. I hope it is helpful.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 3 Feb 2014

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2014). Imagining Sisters. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 20, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/02/03/i-imagine-women-are-my-sisters/

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