I Dreamed About My Ex

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

A little more than a year ago, i started my first meaningful relationship. She came from another city and after months after i met her, where we became really close friends, we started dating. She had emotional issues at first but after a while i was the first person she showed her true feelings to, she told me things not even her mom knew, she cried with me and we shared a lot of whom we really were (i had emotional issues too). Time passed and after a four months where we saw each other every day, she said that she was going back to her old city in two months, and that left me devastated, she broke up with me saying that if she fell even more for me she wouldnt be able to bear it, so she cut all of her ties with me, at that time we were in our senior year of hs.
At that moment i went fooling around with a lot of girls while in the inside iwas devastated. After some time, friends told me that she checked up on me and asked them. It took me a long time to “heal” from that,
Now going to the point i’m in a relationship and i love her, she really gets me… but i dreamed about my ex last night, it was a what if she had stayed, then i woke up within the dream and i told it to my best friend and he ask me would you give up your current relationship for her and i said yes, then iwoke up for real.
I recently find out that she might come back to live here and all of this is very confusing.

A: The fact that the dream woke you up and is now cause for concern is important. The most important thing now is not to think in terms of good and bad, but to think in terms of clarification and understanding. The dream is likely to have come about because the strength of feeling you are having now in your relationship is matching the strength of feelings you had in the past.

When we have strong emotions, they tend to find reference points in our history where we’ve had similar feelings. My guess is you’re at that junction point.

It’s best not to push the river. Don’t try to make anything happen. Spend time noticing your feelings, talking about them with trusted friends or a counselor. This would probably be a very good time to start writing in a journal.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Photo

 

 

Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 1 Feb 2014

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2014). I Dreamed About My Ex. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 20, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/02/01/i-dreamed-about-my-ex/