Constantly Irritated

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Please help!!! Im struggling in my current relationship and my anger is causing me to push my spouse away. Im not physically violent but have the tendency to scream at my spouse and sometimes punch objects and slam things. certain things just really make me mad and I react poorly. I cant help but feeling irritated all the time by small but many issues. home work etc…
i have had many diagnosis and some tell me even they don’t blame me and would feel the same. others tell me i need help. but i cant afford meds and health care and my current area offers no assistance with these issues. i know you cant diagnose based on the little to no info but i need help. mind is always busy and i cant stop dwelling on things. i think about them over and over and over again. it causes me to have concentration issues and effects my feelings based on the situation and the feelings don’t abate. im i just twisted and enjoy feeling this way. HELP ME. theres gotta be a few simple solutions to rid these issues

A: What you are describing could be seen as an anger management problem. But it seems that your bad moods and negative thinking are a recent development. If that’s the case, it’s more likely that you are suffering from depression. Depression sometimes shows up as irritability and anger. This is especially true when a person dwells on things as you have described. That’s called “rumination.” I’m on the side of the people who tell you that you need help. Your thoughts and feelings are hard on you. Your behavior is damaging your relationship.

When I searched the web for alternatives to therapy for rumination, I found quite a few informative articles. I suggest you do a similar search. Of particular interest to me is work that is being done with mindfulness. If you don’t have access to therapy, you might look into whether there are some meditation classes offered in your area. Meditation helps us let go of thoughts and generally calm down. It won’t be easy at first but with practice, you may find that it gives you considerable relief.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 28 Jan 2014

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2014). Constantly Irritated. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 31, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/01/28/constantly-irritated/