Psych Central

Should I Tell My Son about My Abuse?

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I was sexually abused from ages 6-11 and grew up with quite a bit of emotional and physical issues. I had my son at 16 He is 15 now and through the years I have dealt with my inner demons and issues trying to keep them from him. I feel I should tell him why I am the way I am. Part of me feels it’s not right to tell your child about that stuff. but I also feel he should know. Should I tell him? If so what age is appropriate?

A: Thank you for your question. Are you working with a therapist? I question this because I don’t know the value of telling your son if you can’t also tell him all the things you’ve done to cope. I would highly recommend you begin therapy if you haven’t, and if you have, I would talk to your therapist about the merit and concerns behind telling your son. The risk is that you would be breaching a boundary with him, which I am certain isn’t what you would want to do.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 22 Jan 2014

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2014). Should I Tell My Son about My Abuse?. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 16, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/01/22/should-i-tell-my-son-about-my-abuse/