Can’t Talk to My Therapist

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Currently in therapy for depression issues. Have recently found out I’m unable to have children and need a hysterectomy. Have gone through infertility treatments and have had 2 miscarriages. Was in therapy for that and also dealt with sexual assault when i was 14. I’m seeing the same therapist as before and am really struggling. I shut down when I’m there. I feel angry at people who have children-she has 2. She knows this. Despite bringing this up- I’m still struggling. Wondering if need a different therapist.

A. It is difficult for me to determine whether switching therapists would be beneficial. I don’t have enough information to assist you in making that decision. You didn’t say if you’ve had success with your therapist in the past. Nor did you indicate how long you’ve been in therapy with your therapist.

Whether or not you should switch therapists depends on the reasons you want to leave. If the only reason is because your current therapist has children, I don’t think it’s a legitimate reason to switch therapists. The majority of adults have children and so might your next therapist.

The problem isn’t that your therapist has children, it’s that you’re dealing with a difficult emotional issue that has yet to be resolved.

Generally speaking, I would recommend not switching therapists unless you feel as though you cannot go on with your current therapist. If the only reason you want to quit therapy with her is because she has children, then you should immediately and fully discuss this with her.

Valid reasons to switch therapists include: he or she is abusive; he or she has given you bad advice; he or she is incompetent or you’ve been in therapy for a significant period of time and it has clearly not been beneficial. Otherwise, it might be in your best interest to stay and keep trying. Therapy can be difficult and even unpleasant at times but it’s worth trying to work through these issues. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 30 Dec 2013

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2013). Can’t Talk to My Therapist. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 18, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/12/30/cant-talk-to-my-therapist/