Depressed and Heartbroken

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I am depressed from my breakup with my boyfriend of 5 years. All I feel is a heavy painful feeling of heartbroken in my chest. I can’t sleep or eat. I cry every hour. I don’t know how to get past it. I wanted to kill myself last night but I didn’t. Please help.

A: I am very glad you chose to write us here rather than do something to try to hurt yourself. It is difficult to grieve the loss of someone we love. But what I can tell you from working with many people who have gone through this over the years is that in spite of how difficult it feels things can — and do — get better.

The first thing I would do is to recognize what the most important point is for you now. That is to invest your energy into self-care.

I would highly recommend getting some therapy either through the women’s center or the local community hospital, particularly if you do not have insurance for funds. Talking this over with the professional can be very helpful moving through the grief, which is natural, and for making plans in the future.

While this is a difficult time it is also time for you to restore yourself, connect with your friends, and invest in physical, social, and spiritual well-being. Also, talk to your friends who have been through a breakup — they can be a great source of support and inspiration for moving through this.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 29 Dec 2013

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2013). Depressed and Heartbroken. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 30, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/12/29/depressed-and-heartbroken/