Am I Stuck in My Decision?

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

My husband and I have been together for 30 years, with many problems including drinking and drugs (his addiction). He didn’t help me raise the kids, one his, one mine, and one from both of us. We were separated since 1994, and I just moved back in 2009. We had a lot of problems still, even fighting over the kids still, even though they were out of the home. I had an online affair, and got caught, it took a year to get him back to normal again. I am having an affair again, online, because he is impotent, and won’t do anything about it. It feels like he is my child, because he acts like one. Now, his daughter has left her almost 2 year old with us, which I told him would happen, and I want to raise her, but I don’t want to live wioth my husband. I have no car anymore, and very little money… should I just give up on leaving?

A: I think you owe it to yourself to make a plan to better your life. The question is: What is in this relationship for you? You’re not in love, you don’t seem to have a functional relationship with him, you speak about the relationship as if you were trapped, and there are no signs of improvement.

The real question is: Why would you stay? I would highly recommend finding the local women’s center and begin counseling with them. Most women’s center offer low- or no-cost counseling, and it seems that would be the first step in getting enough support to leave.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 7 Dec 2013

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2013). Am I Stuck in My Decision?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/12/07/am-i-stuck-in-my-decision/