Vivid Thoughts of Death

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I know soo many people have asked this question but it doesn’t help me, I want to kill people, see them die in my arms. I want to stab them to death or torture them until they beg for it. I have nowhere to go, I live in the most normal city ever. I hear voices and I hallucinate every once in a while. I constantly feel like someone is watching me. Some nights I can feel demons outside my window and the voices make my head almost explode. Im not afraid of the dark, i almost live in it since I want the demons to come after me. I literally want it. I have no feelings agaiinst other people and I just want my “friends” to **CK OFF. i cut myself, not because of depression. But beause I need to see blood. I search for very bloody pictures on the internet and that is why i want to stab people, to watch their blood leak out their nasty bodies. I absolutly adore Creepypastas too! and horror games is like the best thing in the world. I really dont know what to do. For everyday it feels like im one step closer to kill someone, i have even sufficated someone for over 15 seconds. I know its wrong, but at the same time… I dont really care. I need help but I dont want it.Ive gone to my school conuncilor about the depression I had 6 months ago. But now it is just… insanity.

A. It’s clear that you’re suffering. It’s vitally important that you speak to a mental health professional as soon as possible. You spoke to a counselor six months ago about depression. It’s time to revisit that counselor and report your symptoms. You’re not thinking clearly and professional mental health treatment is what is needed at this time.

If revisiting the counselor is not an option, then speak to your parents or to go to the hospital. When people are not thinking clearly, they may become desperate and do things that they would not normally do. It’s important to seek help in the event that you are unable to control your behavior. Your parents or mental health professionals can keep you safe but only if you are honest with them about how you’re feeling.

Sometimes, when people are suffering and perceive that no one is helping them, it upsets them and makes them angry. They may want to seek revenge or punish the people who they think are ignoring them. The desire to want to kill others is unusual and a sign that someone is suffering tremendously.

It’s important that you seek help immediately. Go to your parents, school administrators, or the hospital and report how you have been feeling. They can assist you in receiving the appropriate psychological help. Counseling and medication could significantly decrease your symptoms. Please seek help immediately. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 28 Nov 2013

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2013). Vivid Thoughts of Death. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 1, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/11/28/vivid-thoughts-of-death/

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