Hi my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 8 months now. He has no trust for me and i’ve never done anything for him not to trust me. Hes always asking me questions about who im talking to or what im doing all the time he thinks im cheating on him w my best friends i cant even stay late at work but he thinks im cheating on him. He never believes me when i stay late at work or was late cuz i was talking with my mom he says its cuz of his past and he has inscure issues but how is it my fault when i havent done anything wrong but yet im always getting in trouble for things i dont do … Its getting to the point where hes starting to control me …. I cant go anywhere but he thinks im cheating on him but yet he wants to marry me
A: You’ve only invested eight months in this relationship. Put a stop to it before you get in any deeper. Don’t even think of marrying him! This cannot end well. He is in no shape to be in a serious relationship with anyone.
I have enormous sympathy for his pain but I can’t support this relationship. You can’t fix his past or quiet his insecurities. Only he can. Instead of trying to control you, he needs to work through his trust issues with a therapist.
You don’t need to change or to limit your life to make him feel better. Women in situations like this often end up emotionally and physically hurt when their boyfriend eventually loses it over some minor misunderstanding.
Get out now and make yourself available to someone who trusts you absolutely. That’s the basis of a healthy relationship.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 17 Nov 2013
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2013). Boyfriend Has Trust Issues. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 9, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/11/17/boyfriend-has-trust-issues-2/