Sister Says I’m a Sociopath

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I am trying to figure out how to handle a situation. I have a sister who in my opinion has no boundaries. She claims that I am a sociopath and stalks me and contacts people that I associate with and tells them personal things that are not true or some are half true. But personal!! She doesn’t know these people and I have even moved 5 states away from her and she continues to do torment me. But she is claiming I am the sociopath. I am not perfect but I don’t feel like a sociopath. My sister feels that she needs to warn people about me and has created more problems for me than anything.

I have become paranoid and nervous and very scared of everything. I can’t tell anyone where I work because she will contact them and make problems for me there. I have lost more friends to the embarrassment and them not wanting to be a part of the drama. I don’t know what to do. I’m at the edge of the cliff here.

The only thing I hold on to is my child and she is after him too! Please help me. Am I a sociopath? I feel guilt and remorse for everything and everyone. No one in my family will stand up to her and everyone stays away because they don’t want to be involved.

A: What a sad and ugly situation. I’m so sorry you have been tormented for so long. I don’t have a way to know whether you are a sociopath or not. What I do know is that this woman has intimated her whole family to the point that no one is reaching out to you to help you. Even you aren’t helping you. At 40, you shouldn’t have to move in order to deal with a sister who you think is off base and out of control.

I suggest you talk to two professionals: a therapist and a lawyer. The therapist will help you determine whether there is any truth to your sister’s accusations. She will then help you figure out how to handle the situation so you don’t lose relationships with your friends, your coworkers and your son. You need some practical strategies for managing the situation. You also need the support of someone who is definitely in your corner.

You should also talk to a lawyer about what your rights are in this circumstance. I can’t advise you because that’s out of my area of expertise. There may be legal mechanisms to stop someone who is harassing and stalking you — even if she is your sister.

I hope you will follow through, especially since you think your sister may drive a wedge between you and your son.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 13 Nov 2013

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2013). Sister Says I’m a Sociopath. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 30, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/11/13/sister-says-im-a-sociopath/