Often Depressed

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Thank you in advanced for taking the time to look at my posting. Since I was around twelve years old I have always seemed depressed or down about myself, seems as if I’m always the smaller person at times. This i can say occurred because of my crumbling family life after my dad abandoned me and left me with my mother as a pre-teen. Now I’ve taken control of my own life and going to college and i can say I’m not what i used to be like. I have many friends and associates i see and speak to at school, work around 22 hours a week while going to college, I’m very busy and i like to keep it that way.

But depression always comes back to haunt me and my family problems never help. i feel down a lot sometimes, i cope and deal with it almost all the time to get through the day, put on a mask around friends and people to make it seem like I’m fine because i know its just a rut or thing i go through every once in a while, like how i used to act in my past comes back to h!
aunt me. i generally do good at handling my own life but i don’t know what this is and i just want to do something so i can improve myself. Thank you

A: I hope you give yourself lots of credit for taking charge of yourself and your life. Good for you!

Believe it or not, sometimes the very best time to go into therapy is when we are feeling good about successes in life. I’s a time when we have confidence and strength that can help us deal with some tough issues.

In your case, I’m guessing there is some unresolved anger and grief about your father’s abandonment and the breakup of your family. You have managed to put those feelings aside and to develop friendships and to go for your professional goals. You could leave it at that. But I think the depression you experience is your inner self telling you that you have some psychological work to do.

From my point of view, it’s important that you do it. You don’t deserve to be haunted for the rest of your life. Further, your feelings about how your family disintegrated might get in the way of forming a trusting and loving relationship or connecting with your own kids someday.

I have every reason to believe that you will be as successful in therapy as you’ve been in meeting your other goals. I hope you will follow up and make an appointment with a counselor soon.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 10 Nov 2013

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2013). Often Depressed. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/11/10/often-depressed/