My Parents Think He’s Too Old for Me

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Hi ! I know this guy for 4 years now and we are in a relationship for 1 year and 3 months. This is a long distance relationship, we never met and we established this year would be a good one for him to come visit me . I am 19 , he’s 31 . For me , age in not a problem , he doesn’t act or talk like he’s 31 , i know him very well and we are made for each other. My parents said that they don’t even want to meet him , they say i am too young for this guy and i should break up with him. They still see me as a kid, they try to be protective, I understand that, but I am more mature than an average 19 years old girl. More than this , my boyfriend is a different culture, different religion . Seems there are too many differences for my parents to handle . I don’t know what to do . I don’t want to give up . Please tell me what should I do?
Thank you very much!

A: I’m sorry. I’m with your parents on this one. The most disturbing thing you said was that this guy doesn’t talk like he is 31. Why not? At 31, he should be far more mature than a 19-year-old. Further, you don’t really “know” him. You know what he presents online. It is possible that when you meet, he will match your expectations. It’s also very possible that he won’t.

I would encourage your parents to meet him with you. If they don’t, you will always keep the idea that he was “perfect” but that your parents got in your way. That could be damaging for your family relationships. If they meet him with you, you can all make an assessment about what this fellow is doing trolling online for a girl who is 12 years younger and from such a different culture.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Oct 2013

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2013). My Parents Think He’s Too Old for Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 31, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/10/24/my-parents-think-hes-too-old-for-me/