Boyfriend Losing Interest

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

my age is 22 years .. me and and my boyfriend have completed 8 years of our relationship. he loves me a lot and i love him more than my life. MY PARENTS AND HIS PARENTS HAVE AGREED TO OUR RELATIONSHIP but from few months i am feeling that he is losing interest in me.. he shouts on me, he abuse me for no reason, he doesn’t call me only i used to call him, he don’t want to meet me for no reason . now i am feeling that he doesn’t love me any more but i don’t want to lose him please suggest me what should i do so that he starts loving me once more …

A: I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you but I think you are correct. You have already lost this boyfriend. Here’s why: You’ve been together since you were only 14. Your parents approve. That’s a lot of pressure on both of you to take the next step and to get married. But sometimes the choice a person makes at 14 isn’t the choice that same person would make at 22.

My guess is that your boyfriend wants to make a different choice. As lovely as you are, he may find that he is attracted to a different kind of person now that he is an adult. He doesn’t think he can talk to you about it and end your relationship in a friendly way so he gets angry and withdraws instead. He’s giving you every reason to dump him so he doesn’t have to be the one to end the relationship.

As painful as it is, I do think you should leave him. Marrying him would be a huge mistake — for both of you. Take some time to grieve and recover. Then think about what kind of man you want now that you are an adult. Chances are you will choose a very different kind of guy.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 19 Oct 2013

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2013). Boyfriend Losing Interest. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 20, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/10/19/boyfriend-losing-interest-3/