My partner and I have been together for a year and a half. he left his wife and i feel as though he blames me. I don’t feel i can do anything right by him. He doesn’t trust me becos I have a past, but he wasn’t around when anything happened. We hadn’t even met. He doesn’t believe me when i say i am going somewhere, doing something or haven’t been talking to anyone else. He also says i left him when i went away to Europe after 2 months of our relationship but i had it planned before we even met. How do i make him realize we can make this work and the mistrust and jealousy aren’t needed. i need help, we have brought a block of land to build a house and i need to know if things will change and he will treat me better
A: Please get out of this. This man isn’t a good partner for you. He is distrustful, blaming and doesn’t take responsibility for his own decisions. You can’t change your past. It has nothing to do with him. Not trusting you for things that never involved him in the first place is a way to make you feel like you are not an equal partner in his eyes.
I suggest you take a break and take a big step back from this relationship. Don’t build that house. Get out of the land deal if you can. It’s better to lose some money on land than to lose yourself in a relationship that isn’t built on love and respect.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 6 Oct 2013
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2013). Distrustful Boyfriend. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 11, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/10/06/distrustful-boyfriend/