How Do I Make Him Talk to Me Again?

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Me and this guy met at a casino in Nov 2012. he wanted me but I keep turning him down but then I develop feelings for him but I didn’t want to ruin our friendship but the feelings got worse. We dated for 2 months. then he started havin troubles with his house and he text me that he might lose his house and he just wanted to be friends. Then I kept bugging him becuz I wanted to make sure he was ok. but he ignore me so my mom got his number from my phone and text him behind my back and I over reacted becuz I never got that close to a guy. i been texting him to try to make it work out but he kept saying I have other problems right now, I was trying to b nice but stop texting me.

He thinks when I text him its all about me and its not. all i said was I never got that close to a guy before and he’s said I’m talking about me. he told dont text me anymore. I just want us to be friends again. I just over reacted becuz my female emotions took over me. But my mom been texting him behind my back and that didn’t help.

Plz help me he’s my only friend. Plz help me I’m crying. He told me not to text him a anymore. He lost his house so I don’t know where he is and he won’t answer my calls just my texts. He unfriend me from Facebook.

He helped me a lot with my self esteem by calling me beautiful all the time even we were friends he called me that. He told me he has more important things to worry about and not concern about my feelings right now. He told me its over and to leave him alone. He’s still lives with his parents so I know he’s under a lot of stress. He promised me to always stay by my side no matter what and he told me he’s a man of word.

I’ll do anything to be his friend again. I’m 21 and he’s 24. I been at the bar every night drinking to eases the pain but nothing workin I have no other friends. So p,z help me. :’( I been texting him but he was being rude to me and I was being nice now I’m being rude too now. I texted him that I’m done and ur not worth my time but now I regretted texting him that. The last time I texted was aug 7th
So plz help I want this to work out so he can b my friend again.

PLZ HELP ME!!!!! He’s my only friend

A: I can tell that you are desperate and miserable. But I think this guy has made it clear that he’s just not that into you. It was probably too much responsibility to be your only friend. You are so terribly lonely and needy that he might think he couldn’t possibly give you what you need.

The answer to your problem is not to get this guy back. The answer is to figure out just why it is that a sensitive, passionate person like yourself hasn’t been able to make a good circle of friends. Everyone needs a few people to hang out with, to do things with and to talk to. Being with other people is what gives us all comfort and helps us grow.

Drinking isn’t going to solve that problem. Going after a guy who doesn’t want you as his girlfriend isn’t going to solve it. Crying in your room isn’t going to help you find friends either. You need to get yourself involved with some things that will help you meet people your own age who like to do things you like to do. That may be hard at first. You seem to be way out of practice. But I”m sure there are places in your town where you can volunteer some time or clubs you can join that focus on things you like to do. Often those are good ways to get started being social again.

Please don’t tell me “I’m not a joiner.” You are. Everyone is. It’s natural to want to be with other people.

If you can’t make yourself get involved with people who could be friends, then I think you should get some help from a therapist. There’s no shame in needing some support and some practical advice if you are too shy, too nervous, or just plain don’t know where to start.

Please start doing what you need to do. No one should be this lonesome.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 8 Sep 2013

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2013). How Do I Make Him Talk to Me Again?. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 29, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/09/08/how-do-i-make-him-talk-to-me-again/