Am I Just Jealous?

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

My girl likes to model. I knew this going in. I’ve tried to be ok with the nudes…went along this time. Trouble is it turns my stomach. We have had problems with her honesty but not cheating. Problems with her jealousy but its cool to strip to panties for a photo shoot…. are I just jealous? Shouldn’t some things be curbed when in a relationship? Call me old fashioned but my girl taking off her clothes to pose for artsy pics makes me ill…tell me to grow up.

A: The key phrase in your question is that “you knew this going in.” Often when we enter into a relationship we think that we’re going to change the person, but this almost always backfires. I think I would let her know how you feel — but if this is her livelihood and it is a career path for her — then this comes along with the territory.

On the flipside of the coin if it is intolerable — be clear about it being too difficult for you to handle that kind of attention toward her. See if this discussion can lead to a balance. If it doesn’t work talking privately with her, you may want to arrange for a couples session to discuss the issue.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 1 Sep 2013

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2013). Am I Just Jealous?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 26, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/09/01/am-i-just-jealous/

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