Should I Call?

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I’m 15 and it’s the summer. I have around 5 good friends, that I can call up and do something with, but they are all on vacation for the summer, but I’m not. I have plenty of “friends” but they are not people I feel comfortable calling up to do stuff with. I’m not sure If I should call them or not because I feel they would just say no to me. What should I do?

A: It’s wonderful that you have five good friends. That’s terrific! You are doing well. It means that you know how to make and maintain friendships at a time of life when lots of kids find it very, very hard to do so.

What you should do now is work on making a couple of those acquaintances into members of your friend list. Of course you should call them! They may be as worried about calling you as you are about calling them. Someone has to make the first move. It might as well be you.

The worst thing that can happen is that they’ll say no. So what? You know you have friends. It’s not like someone’s rejection means you’re a loser. It might be that the other person has too many friends to handle or that they don’t have the time to get together with you or they don’t think you have enough in common. You don’t need to take it personally.

The key to making friends is the willingness to risk being rejected and knowing that you are still a worthwhile person if you get turned down. It’s a little scary but I bet you can handle it.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 16 Aug 2013

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2013). Should I Call?. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/08/16/should-i-call/