Boyfriend Lacks Emotions

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

My boyfriend of 4 years told me that he has been feeling empty. He still loves me and I have nothing to do with his feeling empty. He is not the emotional type at all and other than the first time he told me he love me I have never seen him cry. He has been very upset and distant and crying for 2 days. I love him so much and he loves me but I do not know how to help him. He is debating on going to stay with a friend for a few days but we are both worried that that path wont lead back to me. I want to suggest therapy for him but I’m not sure if he will go for it but I don’t want to give up on us without a fight….what do I do?

A: I think it is a good thing that your boyfriend is talking to you about the struggle he is having with his feelings. Communication between couples during such a difficult time is very important. My suggestion would be to invite him to go together with you to a couples therapist. This way he can feel support from you. And the two of you can bring this issue in front of a third party who can then explain whether individual or couples therapy would be most helpful. In either case your boyfriend would have a chance to express his feelings to a professional with your support.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 2 Aug 2013

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2013). Boyfriend Lacks Emotions. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 25, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/08/02/boyfriend-lacks-emotions/