Mad and Confused

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Well my boyfriend was a friend of mine first he was at the same class with me since 2007 but we weren’t knowing each other very well. but in 2011 he talked to me on facebook so we began dating. he was the person who i talk to when i have a problem. It was like home for me when i’m tired of people. I would say he was everything. But me i’m the kind of people who are angry in their nature but they have a good heart and say all what they feel. at that time my boyfriend was caring too much. i didn’t like it and i was sociable with everyone and pretty.

but after graduating he told me he will stay at the same city with me. but at the end of the summer he told me he has already decided that he will move to another city. i was mad and confused. he gave me promise that he will never leave me. i stayed with him. my whole summer was a disaster. i was crying begging him to stay. but after he became another person miserable. he doesn’t care too much about me. he was rude to me especially on the phone. one more time i was begging and crying nagging

then his phone broke in november but he didn’t repair it until may. in this period i was nagging all the time to fix it but he was telling me next time until may. at his birthday i gave him brand new t-shirt. It was really expensive but in my birthday which was in april he didn’t show up and he didn’t bring me a gift. until now i was trying to get away from him but i couldn’t. I’m tired and depressed. i love him so much. now i”m following the treatment of silence but he haven’t changed yet and he’s the type of guy who doesn’t talk much and express his feelings. i know he has a good heart but i don’t know why he changed. now we talk just a little like hi or something like this. now he’s not dating anyone. pplease help me

A: He may not talk much but he is saying a lot with his behavior. I’m very sorry that this is so painful for you but he is not returning your love and desire for a relationship. He hasn’t been able to convince you to leave him alone so he is rude, distances himself, doesn’t repair his phone and doesn’t bring you a birthday present. That should be plenty of information for you that he is not interested in you as more than a friend.

One person can’t make a relationship any more than one hand can clap. It takes two willing and interested people. Please give up on this. You are making yourself and him miserable. Begging, nagging and giving him the silent treatment is only going to frustrate you both some more. If you still care for this guy, the nicest thing you can do for him is to leave him alone. Then be good to yourself. Find a man who really wants to be with you with all his heart and who will treat you as a treasure.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 28 Jul 2013

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2013). Mad and Confused. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 27, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/07/28/mad-and-confused/