Can’t Get Over Child’s Father

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Me and my ex were together on and off for almost 7 years, we have a child together now. We broke up a little over a year ago and he hasn’t had any contact with our child but a handful of times. He randomly calls and wants to be in our Childs life and tells me he loves me and wants his family back but goes back to the girl he has been on and off with the past year, her kids call him dad and he acts like our child doesn’t exist. Why does he randomly make contact with us saying he wants us back just to ignore us in the end? What do I do to get over him?

A: Sometimes there is an overlap between legal and psychological approaches. I think your situation is one where you may want to consult a lawyer about the father’s obligation from a legal perspective. This typically includes financial responsibilities, and visitation and child care responsibilities. Your letter didn’t mention these things, but they somehow seem important and it is unclear if he has taken on these responsibilities.

I would also contact the local women’s center in your area and ask about both psychological and legal support for this important concern.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 26 Jun 2013

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2013). Can’t Get Over Child’s Father. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 20, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/06/26/cant-get-over-childs-father/