Boyfriend Prefers Pictures to Me

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

My boyfriend has hundreds of pictures of naked women on his phone and computer, which I know is kind of normal for men but the issue is he is not very intimate with me. He hardly touches my body, doesn’t not try to get to know my body. He says he loves me and would never cheat on me, that he just likes to look. It breaks my heart though to think of him fantasizing about the women in the pictures while he masturbates or having sex with me because all the pictures are of women with big boobs and big butts, which I have neither. We argue about this a lot. Am I just being over jealous? Or should I be concern?

A: Stay concerned. The real issue is the fact that you are not receiving the affection you want. Whatever the reason or distraction with your boyfriend, the bottom line is you want more of a connection with him and the porn isn’t helping.

I would focus on the bottom line and explain what you need from him. Give it a month and reevaluate how it is going. If you don’t see some improvement it may be time for some couples therapy. The find help tab at the top of this page can help you locate someone in your area.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 13 Jun 2013

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2013). Boyfriend Prefers Pictures to Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 21, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/06/13/boyfriend-prefers-pictures-to-me/