When to Introduce Kids to Girlfriend
I have been in a relationship for 1 year with my girlfriend and I have been separated for 2 1/2 years now. My divorce is now 2 months away. I have 2 children. My son is 8 & my daughter is 5. I want to introduce my kids to my girlfriend but I feel very scared because of the possibility of my kids having to go through a separation again. My relationship with my girlfriend is GREAT.I have introduced her to my parents and my sister and I have also meet most of her family. She understands my decision of not introducing my kids to her yet but I believe she is worried whether that day will ever come… I don’t want to lose her because of my fear of the unknown… Please help!!!
A: I appreciate your sensitivity and concern. The fact that you have this awareness now – almost regardless of what you choose to do — is the more important thing. Your children have a father who is invested in their well-being and that is more important than the specific path that gets chosen.
For others reading this answer I want to note that the answer would be different depending on the age of the children. At such a young age, in this circumstance you would want to err on the side of waiting. Since the divorce is imminent I would at least wait until the entanglements with that process are complete. I would then very gradually expose them to her in small doses, giving them a chance to react. Here are some of the top books by experts on the topic.
Tomasulo, D. (2013). When to Introduce Kids to Girlfriend. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 27, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/06/12/when-to-introduce-kids-to-girlfriend/