Can I Get a Diagnosis?

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I just want help. I know you can’t diagnose me through the internet, but can you at least help me narrow it down? Here are some characteristics of mine.

I have to have everything end in five or zero.
If it doesn’t, then I have an anxiety attack.
I have very strange fantasies. They usually contain gore, violence and rape. Me causing the destruction usually.
I have strange fetishes. I mainly like furry, clop and lolicon/hentai.
I’m a bisexual atheist.
I love contorting myself in strange positions, especially when I’m sitting down in a desk.
I can’t sit still.
I draw a face on paper, and I talk to it. Sometimes to the point were I might fight with it. The only way to make him be quiet is to draw his mouth sewn up.
I smoke marijuana.
I don’t hear voices, nor do I see things.
Sometimes I hear someone call my name, but then I find out I’m home alone.
Some days I’m happy. Other days I’m sad. No real consistency.
I’m superstitious.
My parents don’t know much of my life.
My friends don’t know parts of my life.
I can’t focus for more than 10 minutes on something.
I find death boring or funny. Ex. I laugh at the holocaust and I don’t really care about the Boston Bombing.
Torture is funny in my opinion.
I spend nearly 2/3 of my life on the internet/computer.
I can’t have a relationship for more than 2 weeks. Main reason is because I don’t want my family to find out.
I’m to scared to have a relationship. for the reason shown above.
I can’t take “no” for an answer.
I hate losing.
I don’t bathe that much.
I don’t want to go to a therapist. Again, I don’t want my parents to know.
I’m very creative.
I want bad things to happen to me.

I have tried many tests, and some possible disorders are OCD, DID/MPD and Schizophrenia. I took a test to see if I have ADD or ADHD, and I don’t.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. Help me out by telling me some possible disorders.

A: What an interesting person you are! Yes, you certainly are creative. You’re right. I can’t make a diagnosis on the Internet. What I can tell you, though, is that the first thing we’d be talking about if you were to see me is that 2/3 of your life on the Internet and your use of marijuana. The two may not be a mix that your brain can tolerate.

You are not living in the world. You are checking out in ways that are not helping you one bit. You can’t learn to be in a relationship without being in one. You can’t have a better relationship with your folks by hiding in your room and not sharing things with them. Ditto with your friends. You can’t learn how to tolerate losing now and then without taking real risks with other people. And you can’t substitute online tests for an evaluation by a real live therapist.

So — my best advice to you is this: Take a shower, turn off the computer for a week, stop smoking weed and hang out with some friends instead. Talk to your parents about seeing a counselor. See what happens. Just doing all that honestly for a week will give you more information about yourself than another online test.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 7 Jun 2013

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2013). Can I Get a Diagnosis?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 18, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/06/07/can-i-get-a-diagnosis/