15 and Relying on Alcohol

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Hey I am 15, been home schooled my whole life. Never had friends and I am a outcast. Females hate me I am tired of seeing all these girls with a bunch of female friends partying or at the beach. I have no friends at all. I love psychology, serial killer stories and horror movies, dramatic photography and gore. I cry myself to sleep and cry all the time. I have broke down recently. I need alcohol just to be okay.

A: No you don’t need alcohol to be okay. Alcohol has become part of the problem. You won’t find the friendships you crave by sitting in your room, crying and drinking. Nobody is going to knock on your door and say, “Hey – I like photography too. Want to hang out?” Nope. That’s not going to happen. And drop the negativity stuff. Watching horror movies and killer stories is just filling you up with gunk. It makes you unattractive to people who are fun.

The big plus of homeschooling is that you can go at your own pace and pursue subjects and interests in more depth. The down side for at least some kids is that they don’t grow up knowing how to relate to peers. It takes real effort to find a large enough pool of candidates for friendships to equal what is available in a big school.

If you want other girls to be your friends, you have to drop feeling sorry for yourself and get busy. At 15, there are lots of ways for you to get involved in your community and to get to know people who might become friends. Join a photography club for teens. Start taking classes for teens at the local community college. Get a job as a camp counselor this summer. Help out at something like Special Olympics. Join a gym that has yoga classes or jazz exercise classes for kids your age. You won’t make friends instantly but any one of these will be a start toward being with peers. Often when people are focused on a job or goal, not on each other, it takes the pressure off. Friendships are likely to evolve once you start being around a lot of teens who are doing something worthwhile.

Yes it will be difficult at first. Staying put is hard too. You might as well do something hard that is going to pay off, right?

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 26 May 2013

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2013). 15 and Relying on Alcohol. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 21, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/05/26/15-and-relying-on-alcohol/