Feeling Betrayed and Adrift

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I am 21 years old girl and I’ve got much interest in psychology. So sometimes I doubt that I’m assuming all problems and in real I’m OK. Summarizing all issues, I have trust problem so I’m very reserved. I am survivor of suicide and also committed self injury many times. Many people who claimed to love me, betrayed me so I don’t trust anybody now. My close ones never value me the way I do. I recently broke up with my best friend and also ignoring my other friends. I think it’s the only way to protect myself from being triggered for self injury and suicide. But I am still feeling abandoned and worthless. I don’t know I fixed it or made it even worse…

A: The best thing for you to do is to see a psychologist or a mental health counselor for an evaluation. I often tell my students that if they are interested in psychology, it’s important that they experience what it is to be a client. We all have issues. If we’re going to be helpful to others, it’s very important we understand ourselves and know how to keep those issues from intruding on our understanding and helpfulness to others. Being a client for awhile also teaches us in a profound way what it feels like to be on the receiving end of therapy.

You have some important things to work out. It sounds like you have a difficult time tolerating big feelings and trusting others. You’ve been so hurt in your life that your only solution for dealing with pain is to distract yourself with pain you control (self-injury and suicidal actions). In therapy, you would identify your strengths and use them to gain self-confidence and improve your self-esteem so that you can risk connecting with others again. You would learn how to cope with your feelings and how to transform them.

I think you made an important first step by putting your thoughts into this email. Now take the next one and make an appointment with a counselor. You have important personal work to do.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 21 Apr 2013

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2013). Feeling Betrayed and Adrift. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/04/21/feeling-betrayed-and-adrift/