Am I Looking for a Father Figure?

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

When I was little I loved my dad, but he walked out on me. And now I find myself attracted to older guys. Not too much older. But at least 3 years. Could not having an older male figure be part of the reason I only like older guys?

A: I appreciate the nature of your question and think it is a good one to ask – and I must say quite astute for a 14-year-old. Very good thinking.

The short answer is yes. I believe that our early experiences in our family can be very powerful influencers in our romantic choices. You loved your dad and lost him. You are likely to be looking for someone who can help you recapture that feeling of being loved, but without the loss. I have written about this elsewhere and will encourage you to read these two articles linked here and here.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral




Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 31 Mar 2013

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2013). Am I Looking for a Father Figure?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 28, 2015, from

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