Abusive Boyfriend

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

My boyfriend is so mean wen he is mad at me an we agure he calls me names down grades me an Mentaly abuses me he doesn’t think of at all an thinks everything he does he rite I hav no friends I don’t go out but he does he ask lik a dad not a fiancé an to top it off I want to leave so bad but I hav 3 kids with him an he kicks me out an I hav no were to go an he was sayin how if we aint together he will move to flordia an im in det an hav no money or job because i take care of my kids what should I do I’m miserable I’m depressed an i want out help!

A: Thank you so muich for writing. It’s the first step toward getting yourself out of the trap you are in. At only 22, and with 3 kids to support, you need help if you are to free yourself of this abusive guy. Fortunately, your city has a women’s center that can help you get away and get on your feet. They provide free and confidential 24-hour easily accessible services to those in need. They provide counseling, education, outreach, referrals and resources.

One other resource is the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233. Counselors are there 24/7 to help women like yourself figure out what to do.

Please be careful. If you decide to make calls or look into getting help, use a computer at the library or at a friend’s house. Don’t use your own phone. Sometimes men like your boyfriend get violent when they find out that their girlfriend is looking for help.

You deserve better. Your kids deserve to grow up in a home where they are seeing love and support between the adults, not abuse. Your letter was your first step toward safety and a better life. Now please take the next one and get in touch with the center.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 19 Mar 2013

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2013). Abusive Boyfriend. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 25, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/03/19/my-boyfriend-is-so-mean/