I have over the last few months grown to be more and more… I want to say realistic about things. I have always thought about life and the meaning behind and my place in it all, where do i fit? Why am I alive? I’ve come up with several answers over the years. Now, i’ve grown more tired of it all. I find it hard to even get up to go to work, because why should I? There’s no meaning behind that. I don’t want anything in this world. I wish that I’ve never existed. I can’t and will never commit suicide or hurt myself, it’s not that. I am alive and i have family i won’t leave because i’m being selfish. But i kind of detest them from time to time for keeping me here in secret…
I don’t want to be happy anymore, i don’t want to find something to live for. Is it supposed to be this hard to just be happy? If it is i don’t want it anymore. The question is, should i seek help although i’m not suicidal? I’m rather indifferent, not sad. I’m not mad, i’m tired. I don’t see myself being depressed, not happy. I can’t remember the last time i enjoyed life though.
A: Why don’t you see yourself as depressed? Everything you’ve said screams “depression!” Not everyone who is depressed is suicidal. All people don’t experience depression in the same way or even show the same symptoms. Depression, for example, can present as sadness or irritability or both. However, most people with depression do report feeling little enjoyment in life.
I can’t make a definitive diagnosis on the basis of a letter. But I can tell you that it’s long past time to see a psychologist. You’re only 23 and married. You have a long life ahead of you. Why live it being miserable? Why live it secretly detesting the people who love you? You and your wife deserve better than this.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 18 Feb 2013
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2013). Life Lacks Meaning. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 1, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/02/18/life-lacks-meaning/