Fiancé is a Heroin Addict

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

We have a 7month old. He works full time, but when he runs out of money for his addiction he asks me to lend him money from payout i got. Says he will give it back next pay next pay next pay and so on. He pays the bills and thats its the rest he injects. His forever trying to straighten up but cannot even last 2 days clean. Should i leave or stay? We have been together 2 years. I cannot take his lies no more, he steals if theres no money around or takes item to cash changing stores. Im going mad and i dont want my child exposed to this addiction.

A. Heroin addiction is insidious. Often, the addiction will progress, leading to arrest or drug overdose. His addiction is damaging your life in multiple ways. He lies and steals from you and this behavior likely will continue. He currently pays the bills but soon that money might be spent on feeding his addiction. That puts the livelihood of your family in serious jeopardy; it may mean that you soon will not have a place to live, money for food, and so forth. You can’t allow that to happen.

You have to protect yourself and your new baby. Give him an ultimatum. Insist that he go to rehab or you will leave. Without the ultimatum, you risk enabling his behavior.

Dealing with drug addiction is a serious challenge. It is imperative that you connect with some of the professional organizations that specialize in assisting family members who have loved ones with addictions. Nar-Anon is devoted to persons dealing with addicted family members. Nar-Anon groups can be found in most communities and their services are free of charge. You may also want to consider seeing a therapist who could gather the specific details about your situation and advise you about how best to proceed. I anticipate this being a very trying time for you and thus it would be prudent to surround yourself with supportive, knowledgeable professionals. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 7 Feb 2013

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2013). Fiancé is a Heroin Addict. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 21, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/02/07/fiance-is-a-heroin-addict/