Broken Engagement

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I need advice a about something, I am from a business family and my parents had introduced me to another family and their son for marriage, and had ALMOST fixed it, I couldn’t stand the guy, and he was nothing I need in my would-be world…my gut feeling said I will never be happy with him,I was sad from the very moment, crushed from inside and knew that I was making a mistake, also he tried to flirt with me in cheapest/vulgar way possible every chance he got and that was it for me, so I told my father and things were called off in a few days. I did not think back then , but now I think I might have overreacted since I saw the opportunity to get out the mess and the fact that I did not like him….Now I feel a little awkward that , was it pre destined to end or was he the chosen one or did my free will end it, is it possible I will find someone…what should I do as I feel guilty about hurting my parents who have been actively seeking a groom for me and have failed so far?

A: In countries like yours where arranged marriages are typical, families are often trying to make unions. These often work and can be successful, but they are obviously not fool-proof. Your father made a wise decision because he did not want his daughter to be unhappy in her life. This is a good thing, yes? Every fiber of your being said it wasn’t right – does that sound like he was the chosen one? Hardly. This is a time to thank your parents for honoring you and your needs. Success is based on failure. You are simply in the process of moving toward success.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 23 Dec 2012

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2012). Broken Engagement. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 26, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/12/23/broken-engagement/