Psych Central

Relationship Problem

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I have a boyfriend whom I met on a social networking site 2years back. He works in ship management so we lose contact for 6-7months per year. We have only met thrice in last two years. But I really love that Guy because of his nature.
But I am not able to trust him. I get angry and jealous even if some female friend likes his status or I find him online at night. I think he is not interested in me anymore. We have had sex also. Sometimes I feel he only wants to have sex with me that’s why he has proposed me. He lives in different state and sometimes doesn’t contact me for days. It’s me who has to call or text first.
Please tell me what should I do I am not able to understand this man. I want to make him mine.

A: It sounds like you are in love with who he could be, his potential, not who he really is. If you have only met him three times in the last year, what kind of a relationship is it, really? Your last sentence tells the whole tale. You want to make him yours — which means he isn’t.

Let him earn his relationship with you. Give him a chance to call you and don’t be so willing to contact him first. If he doesn’t make the connection and it is only you calling him – you have your answer.

His lack of availability means you will always have to pursue him. If that isn’t what you want, it is time to move on.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 16 Dec 2012

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2012). Relationship Problem. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 19, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/12/16/relationship-problem/

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