Is My Husband a Sociopath?

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I met “John” in high school, we dated, married, had two children, divorced for 11 yrs., have been back together now for over 7 years, our relationship is better this time.
John had 14 yrs. of service working a union job; John had a heart attack, was on short-term disability, returned to work for 42 days, and was let go for a GPS violation.
Our electric was shut-off, John allegedly hooked back up, the bill under $400.00, a felony theft charge was filed, and John paid a lawyer $2500.00 to enter a diversion agreement. Part of the diversion is taking a class with a Licensed Psychologist.
John met with the Dr., the first question the Dr. had for John “whose toes did you step on”. The Dr. went on to say he has never had a case for hooking up electric, never had the court send over multiply copies of paperwork as they have in this case, nor has he ever had the clerk call (many times) to check if a referral is signed up or completed the class.
After talking for 15-20 mins the Dr. told John, he is a Sociopath! I have researched “Sociopath” and I do not see any of this behavior in John. I will agree John is not remorseful in allegedly hooking up electric (nor am I). I called the electric company before John arrest; they could not give me an amount to pay b/c the file was in their legal dept. The customer service representative asked me to call back the following week to get an amount, but John arrest was that Monday.
John is very intelligent person, can be a man of few words until he gets to know you, he is not one to trust a person until he gets to know them. He is close with his family and my family, I do not know of anyone talking bad about him, people that get to know him, like him. He is a great father to our kids and G-pa to our grandson (who adores him). I trust him more than I trust anyone else in my life; he is a truthful person, which can come off as mean at times, meaning the truth hurts at times. My whole family loves him, every one of them think it is great that we are back together (they say I am the fruit loop).
He has a great work history, in 5 years he missed 3 days of work and was late 2 times. The one exception is when being let go and John was aware of the Company wanting to get rid of the old higher paid employees and replaced with the new guys the company was paying half of what John was making, not many benefits paid for by company, new employees.
Is it possible for this Dr. to put the label on John for the sake of a “cure” to report to the court? Is there a test one can take that would show he is a true Sociopath? Where can I get some answers, this is truly eating at me. I have lost sleep and my appetite over this. Please help!
I did not mean for this to go on for so long, I truly appreciate your time.
In addition, I am an alcoholic, sober for almost 7 years now, in the beginning, one main reason for quitting was John deserved better, I thought of him first.
Thank you

A: There is a lot here and I think the safest thing to do is to ask for a second opinion. You say that part of the diversion is taking a “class.” Is this accurate? I would think therapy would be the more appropriate term, as I am not familiar with what a class like this would be composed of.

In any case I think individual counseling for John or couples counseling for the two of you would be helpful. Whatever the reasons for John’s behavior and the label given him by the psychologist, one thing is certain: Something doesn’t feel right. You should pay attention to this.

You may want to ask the lawyer or the courts about getting another therapist involved, but if they can’t help I would look for a second opinion on your own. As with a medical diagnosis, there is always room for a second opinion to shed light on the situation.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 11 Nov 2012

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2012). Is My Husband a Sociopath?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 31, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/11/11/is-my-husband-a-sociopath/