Sex Before Marriage

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 months now, since the beginning of the relationship we have been having sex with no problem, no issue or anything like that.
About a month ago I notices a change in her behavior and he interest in sex had decreased. Asking about it had previously gotten me nowhere, she didn’t want to talk about it and it almost became an argument. After several weeks she finally broke down and explained she wanted to save herself for marriage.
While I understand that sex isn’t everything in a relationship, it is important to me, I feel like this will continue to be an issue. It’s already becoming a strain on us. I feel like ill start to resent her and eventually end the relationship and I don’t want to do that. What should I do?

A: I think your girlfriend’s new perspective has to be honored in a way that both of you can live with. I would recommend some couples counseling to help sort through the changes this brings to the relationship. This means asking yourselves some tough questions: Does the relationship still work for both of you? If it does, how do you want to move forward?

I would encourage you to be honest with her about what this means for you. Do you want a relationship that is leading to marriage and are you willing to wait? These are difficult questions and only you can know what is true for you. If this isn’t the relationship you were hoping for, use the counseling to discuss what your options are.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 7 Nov 2012

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2012). Sex Before Marriage. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 26, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/11/07/sex-before-marriage/