Extremely Lonely & Hopeless

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Hi there, My parents separated when I was 3. Was raised by my mom that was working all day so she could afford to raise me and help my grandparents. Was underweight since I was probably 4 maybe because I started growing super fast. Had a horrible acne so pretty much it destroyed my confidence so I was never going out or anything. Pretty much stayed home all the time and watch TV.

When was 18 moved to US so I could get a better life for my future kids. Had a great business… got screwed by my business partner + my apartment got completely robed of everything I had 2 years back. Was starving at first and barely survived everything that happened. It was a horrible time even used a plastic bag and tried to kill myself several times. I guess didn’t have it in me.
Finally got a job… and working 70 hours a week now. For all that time borrowed a lot of money so everything I do is just to pay back. So pretty much I work every day and when come home watch TV and go to sleep cuz I don’t have energy for anything. I can’t take a day off because my expenses are equivalent 70 hours of work. So here you go. Desperate unhappy and extremely lonely. Btw tried to kill myself couple month back but thanks GOD didn’t succeed cuz it would brake my mom’s heart. The thing is I am really social and fun to talk to at work but it’s just FAKE ME. I really don’t want to talk to anybody. So here you go. I know it’s a mess but the sad reality I will have to work like this for next 2-3 years just to get back up but I really don’t have the energy. Even thou I am 24 already got some grey hair and still super skinny, almost anorexic. Thing is that all my life I had something on my mind and I never really wanted to eat so maybe that’s an issue.

Anyways. I know it’s a mess and you probably wont answer. But I really do need help. Better to say a scream for help but I don’t know what to do and don’t have time for it. I can’t take day offs… just can’t. So I am trying to figure out what I should do to at least work on resolving my issues somehow. I hope for your help and thanks you very, very much.

A. You are most certainly welcome. You have endured many hardships. There was a time when you nearly ended your life. Thankfully you survived. Not only did you survive but you thrived. You began a successful business that eventually faltered seemingly through no fault of your own. Time and time again you have rebounded from difficult life circumstances. That makes you a very resilient person. Your resiliency is a major strength. Don’t minimize that important life-sustaining quality.

Having to work 70 hours a week makes you an extremely busy individual but your mental health is suffering. It’s vitally important to address the psychological issues that have been plaguing your life. As you noted, you’re not happy and you feel very lonely. Those unresolved psychological problems almost led to the end of your existence. That’s proof of how pervasive these psychological issues have become.

You, in all likelihood, would not ignore a potentially cancerous lump on your back and likewise you shouldn’t ignore your psychological symptoms. I would recommend seeing a therapist. You might be surprised at how quickly a competent therapist could facilitate a positive change in your life. Depression is highly treatable. There’s no reason for you to suffer when effective treatments exist that would greatly enhance the quality of your life.

The best way to find a competent therapist is to call at least four or five and ask detailed questions about how they would treat you. Choose the therapist with whom you feel the most comfortable.

You are working long hours. Your mental health is important but so is your physical health. Nutrition is important, as is rest. You should also see a physician to ensure that you have the physical stamina to continue your work schedule.

At this point, it simply a matter of choice. You must make the decision that you want help and then make the effort to receive it. You deserve to be happy. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 1 Nov 2012

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2012). Extremely Lonely & Hopeless. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 31, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/11/01/extremely-lonely-hopeless/