Nothing is Enough for my Father
My dad is an alcoholic and was arrested a few years back and i was his one phone call from the station. My parents are divorced and i was home alone at my grandmas house so my mom came and picked me up and took me home because my dad was in jail. He’s had many issues with drinking and he used to pass out and i had to call my mom to come get us (i was about 6 or 7) and last two years ago he started drinking again and went to rehab and i didn’t see him for almost a year. He said he wanted to see us at fathers day and never showed up and i was very upset. He was clean for a year and we’d developed a good relationship and a few weeks ago he started drinking again and went back to rehab. It’s been a month since i’ve seen him and this past week was his birthday so ive been very upset recently.
This summer i went through hardships with friends because they started drinking and because of my dad, i didn’t so they no longer talk to me. i lost my three best friends because of this. Now, i feel helpless and sometimes i cry and i dont know why. Over the summer i never attempted suicide but i often wished i weren’t alive, or wouldn’t wake up the next morning. i feel worthless and don’t want to live anymore, however i would never kill myself. i feel fat and am not hpapy with my appearance and im never proud of myself. i feel like if i were better my dad wouldn’t drink. Im a three sport athlete with a 4.3 GPA and am part of the drug free council at my school, and i question why this isn’t enough for my father. I need help, im upset and have no on e to talk to.
A: At only 15, you’ve been burdened with far too much. Your dad’s drinking has absolutely nothing to do with you. You are not responsible for his drinking. You can’t make him stop. This is his problem and he has to deal with it. If he weren’t so caught up in his addiction, he would recognize that you are a kid to be proud of. But he can’t do that.
I strongly encourage you to get involved with Ala-Teen. This is an organization for teenaged children of alcoholics. Go to a few meetings and see if it’s helpful for you. You’ll get good information. Most important, you’ll get the support of other kids wh are in the same type of situation. Check out this link. Hurting yourself and thinking negative thoughts will not help you or your dad. Getting some practical help and some support will.
Writing to us here at PsychCentral was a good first step toward better self-esteem. Now take the next step and get some local, ongoing help. You deserve it.
I wish you well.
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2012). Nothing is Enough for my Father. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 28, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/10/23/nothing-is-enough-from-my-father/