No Hello

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I dated a guy for 2.5 years. We broke up a year ago and within 6 months he was engaged to a previous girlfriend of his. Obviously, I was very shocked and upset. After the break up we stopped talking completely, which was very hard. However, he still tried to get my attention by writing things on Twitter referring to me. He would befriend my family members on other social media sites and still to this day, does so. We live in the same city and I happen to be friends with one of his co-workers (which I just found out, works with his ex). My ex hangs out with him a lot, all of a sudden and goes out with him. But, when he realizes I’m at the same bar he leaves and doesn’t even acknowledge me. It’s like he creeps on me then leaves. Shouldn’t he be at home with his fiancée? Why won’t he say something to me? At least Hi? What’s his deal? I still feel like he wants some control over me yet he is engaged! Worry about her!

A: I can understand how hurtful it is that he is snubbing you. But you have broken up, it has been six months, and there is no chance of reconciliation. The real question here is why you are still looking to get something from him that he is either not capable of giving or won’t. In either case you are the one who has to change. He has moved on – so should you.

The college you are at has counselors who can help. If this continues to be more than a passing lament you may want to talk to someone there to help you get past the hurt.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 21 Oct 2012

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2012). No Hello. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 18, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/10/21/no-hello/