I saw my grandfather die when I was young and it was very painful because he was like a dad to me. And ever since my grandfather’s death I’ve been having troubles maintaining my relationship with others whether it’s friends or family members. I try to distant myself away from them in fear of getting hurt again. I have trouble letting people in my life and tend to disassociate myself from being involved in a romantic relationship with anyone. As a result, I can’t truly love or care for anyone. Although thinking about my grandfather made me very feel sad and depressed at first, now I’m not as sad as I used to be and I felt guilty for not being sad and I would force myself to think about his death over and over again and make myself feel bad and cry myself to sleep. I also feel pressured by my parents to do well in school and life and it’s almost as if I’m letting them down and becoming that worthless and useless person I was when I stood there and watched my grandfather died. And whenever I feel useless and think I’m such a failure or that I might not live up to other’s expectations, I want to die. I have suicidal thoughts almost everyday and wish I were dead but never actually thought of actually committing a suicide. I also feel irritated very often recently and just want to be left alone. I gave up or got bored of things I used to love doing. This is ruining my life and I think I seriously really need help.
A: You are very insightful about your thoughts and feelings, and I agree with you – you do need help as soon as possible. It sounds as if you are suffering from severe depression. It is not uncommon for the death of a loved one, especially someone you are really close to, to turn into longer-term depression. Please seek therapy immediately. Watch the video for the complete answer.
Take good care of yourself!
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 17 Oct 2012
Hanks, J. (2012). [Video] Could Grandfather’s Death Cause Depression?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 4, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/10/17/video-could-grandfathers-death-cause-depression/