People Have Made Fun of me my Whole Life

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

When I was 8 I was a shy kid I didn’t speak much. In my school was a lot of brave kids I didn’t feel well there. Every break they were loud while I was sitting alone. Teacher told few times that I’m other than them I am shy and quiet (among all). Then everybody started to call my shy… They were making fun of few people but especially of me cause I was shy. When teacher asked who speaks loud, they always focused on me and laughed and everybody knew that wasn’t me but it was funny for them…

I couldn’t make friends because they told: “he is that guy who doesn’t speak” they looked at me and laughed hard. There was also one very shy girl in my class and they were often joking that we are couple or asking me how’s your girlfriend? Or when they saw some shy person “hey, he’s like you haha” _._ It was so embarrassing.

I remember when few years ago during the camp every night we all were sitting and talking about our memories. They were joking and told that I would never do the same things as they did cause I am too shy, too quiet. They treated me like a freak. It was so embarrassing. I wanted to cry. They asked why don’t you talk about it with us and laughed at me. Once we all were there at the party they told laughed at me while I was dancing among all… I can’t dance but even if I could they would make fun of me. I was always the easiest target. My whole life I couldn’t make friends because of them. If would say “hes not talkative haha” or “everybody school makes fun of him”. Nobody respected me. I wasn’t going on birthday parties I was avoiding everybody it was the worst mistake I did. I just wanted to have weekend/holiday and not to see them. I thought that some day I will finish school and start new life.

Soon Ill be 18 I go to nice school. Now I changed Im definitely not shy, just normal introvert who wears glasses. If I never met my previous classmates I would be the happiest man in the world. I don’t go out. I don’t want to talk to new friends from this school and go to cinema for example cause Im afraid if I met few “bullies” they would destroy everything and tell stupid things to make fun of me. My family doesn’t know about school problems. I didn’t tell them about it. They are happy they have great lifes. Im sad I dont have good memories like my parents. I remember when as a kid I was bullied… Recently I am thinking whole days thinking about my life, it sucks and I don’t want to do anything. Im depressed I can’t study I do nothing at home. I don’t eat I don’t enjoy anything. I just wanna cry. I have no hope I don’t think its gonna change. Nothing changed since I was a kid. Nothing has sense. I lost ambition. All I do is going to school then come to home, thinking about my life, listening to the music and playing computer games. The reason why Im sometimes feeling good is my family, my parents, sister. I live for them… First thing to overcame anxiety was creating account on facebook. My family told me for a long time to create account so after 2 years I finally did it. I was so scared. Everybody has facebook I was the only one who didn’t have it so it was HUGE step in relations. I just thought that I can’t hide from them whole life. I can’t stand jokes about me. Pls help I don’t see the future…

A. I’m sorry for what you have had to ensure. Bullies are cruel but thankfully you’ve left them and that school behind.

Naturally, you’re worried about meeting “bullies” at your new school. Your primary concern is that if you were to interact with “bullies, they would destroy everything.” Essentially, at this point your happiness is dictated by others. If no one bothers you, then you’ll be happy. Your happiness should be dictated by you and not by others. Ideally, what others think or say to you should not matter. You should be immune to the opinion of others.

Part of the issue is related to self-esteem. If you felt confident about yourself and your abilities, then you would care less about what other people think of you. Another aspect of this problem is that you’ve never informed your family about the problems at school. You’ve also never received help for the anxiety and depression you experienced related to bullying.

You need to be proactive in this situation. My recommendation would be to tell your family about past problems and potential new school problems. They may be a great support system for you but they can’t help if they are unaware that a problem exists.

Also, I would recommend entering psychotherapy. It is important to address self-esteem, anxiety and depression issues. Those issues typically do not resolve themselves. They often require professional treatment. Mental health professionals are trained to deal with these very issues. They can provide you with helpful advice and ultimately therapy could improve your life significantly. A therapist can help you to learn the right way to deal with bullies. It would be an ongoing correction of your behavior when in a confrontational situation. You will no longer be alone with this problem and will have your therapist to help.

You don’t need to suffer any longer. Tell your family, and receive the help that you deserve and that would make your life better. With the right help and support you have a very bright future. I have dealt with many clients who have had experiences very, very similar to yours. They are all now living secure, confident, happy lives. Please consider my recommendations. I wish you well.

Dr. Kristina Randle

Photo

 

 

Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 15 Oct 2012

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2012). People Have Made Fun of me my Whole Life. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 3, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/10/15/people-have-made-fun-of-me-my-whole-life/